west-side bar (my western wall)
after “the 17-year-old & the gay bar” by danez smith
by Tova Greene
no one was guarding the door when we
arrived no one to determine that my
sweat-stained skin was freshly-spring
& seventeen no one to keep me
from this swaying service, pool balls
& beer bottles raking glass against my
tongue like a whispered prayer i had
to hold my breath so i wouldn't taint the
deliciously-sticky floors & dusty wood
like a thousand wishes wafted from
dandelion seeds when i
approach the counter with (hands)
quivering in anticipation of the bimah
i tap it twice like i’ve seen in movies &
order whatever the change in my pocket
can afford i’m wearing my lover’s
yellow shirt (a color i seldom go out
of my way to purchase) smelling like
tentative sex only teenagers have i don’t
yet know that gender is a rash no cortisone
can heal & how my heart will tingle at the
sight of their septum & smile i can’t
know how cherry-flushed kisses will
captivate me, how sapphic sighs
will wrap around their lips &
enrapture me how i’ll be
told to beg for more how
i will do so with no words
but here, under these flickering
lightbulbs from 1998 all i knew
is i was throwing back shots of straight -up-but-not-straight love
Tova Greene (they/them) is the Programs Director of The Poetry Society of New York and the Creative Director of The New York City Poetry Festival. They are a non-binary, queer, Jewish poet who graduated in May of 2022 with a BA from Sarah Lawrence College. They are the author of the collection lilac on the damned's breath (Bottlecap Press, 2022). Their second collection, tell me how all this (& love too) will ruin us, is coming out via Indie Earth Publishing in early 2023. Their poem "snowed like this on fulton street" was nominated for Sundress Publications "Best of the Net" awards. Their work has been featured in Eunoia Review, Midway Journal, West Trade Review, and others. For more information, please see https://linktr.ee/tovagreene.